Pondering… The first day of Autumn
Molly Carlile
Today is the first day of autumn, it’s sunny and warm, but I can feel the gloom around the corner… winter is sneaking into my mind. Even though it’s three months away, I’m already starting to dread it. The dark skies, the wind, the frost on the grass, the tips of my nose and ears being perpetually cold and feet that won’t warm up until next Christmas.
“So what?” I hear some of you say… and still others, “Roll on winter, rugging up, drinking cocoa, scarves and boots, the fireplace blazing… and OH the joys of layering!”
Well, you can have that, give me sun, birds chirping, ducklings on the pond in the park, walking on the beach and minimal clothes, that’s my idea of bliss. I find it really interesting that even though winter is three months away, I’m already dreading it, and daylight saving hasn’t even finished yet… wait till that happens, I’ll be a bag of misery!
Bizzare really, I know that I’m not a winter person and yet after all my years on this earth, every year I fall into the same trap of beginning to ‘live’ winter before it even happens.
Bizzare really, I know that I’m not a winter person and yet after all my years on this earth, every year I fall into the same trap of beginning to ‘live’ winter before it even happens.
That got me thinking. There are parallels here with other things in my life. Why do I worry about things that may not even happen? Why do I wish days away because I’m dreading a commitment, a meeting, a job or a responsibility that is coming up? I still find myself thinking “This time next week/month/year, that thing will be over and I can relax” and yet I get over what ever it is and start the whole process again about a new commitment, meeting, job etc. etc. I’ve fallen into the trap of wishing my life away bit by bit.
Isn’t it interesting, that someone like me who has spent their life with people who are facing their imminent death, has not learned the most valuable of lessons; to stop and “smell the roses”. Even more interesting is that I teach people how to do this every time I give a lecture or speech. Every presentation I give emphasises the importance of being in the present with other people in order to create a truly therapeutic relationship. I teach health professionals to be mindful of what is happening in their body, mind, heart at any given moment in order to be more self aware, resilient and compassionate. And yet I fall into the same trap as everyone else, I become complacent. I think “Yeah, I’ll do that tomorrow”, but tomorrow never comes.
I’m going to fully immerse myself in what I’m doing right now and not allow myself to be distracted by what might happen in the next minute, hour, day or month. I’m going to value every moment and live it to the full.
So, I’ve decided it’s time to listen to what I say to others and to take control. I’m no longer going to think beyond this moment. I’m going to fully immerse myself in what I’m doing right now and not allow myself to be distracted by what might happen in the next minute, hour, day or month. I’m going to value every moment and live it to the full. And if that means when my little granddaughter comes over, I stop working and play faeries with her in the back yard. All the better. The work will always be there, but my little granddaughter won’t always think I’m wonderful and want to play with me. So I’m
signing off now to put on my “wings”, grab my “wand” and fly around the backyard with a little girl who thinks I’m magic – before the weather gets too cold!
© Molly Carlile 1/3/2014
Don’t forget the footy! Thank God we have that to get us through Winter!
Thank you Molly, to be in the moment and enjoy being there. Love the thought of wings and little Granddaughters, precious time which passes too quickly.xx
Thanks Molly. loving this new you, the ‘Molly Blog”! Reading this one took me straight back to when I was driving mum every day for her radiotherapy before she died. it was autumn, and the route we took, took us past the big Plane trees, with their leaves turning brown and falling like dried confetti on our car. I remember thinking this moment in time will be forever ‘caught’ in my memory. I think when we let ourselves personally experience these moments in time, to absorb and soak it all up, we open ourselves up to really living in the moment. I’m really trying to practice mindfulness at the moment, and am very interested in that as a coping resource/strategy for our staff in pall care. What do you think Molly?